Why Athieism is the Best idea Ever

Today was very enlightening.

My brother Gob and I decided to go out to get ice cream, and a really funny thing happened. Actually no, it wasn't funny at all. It was horrifying. We were standing outside of the ice cream van and Gob noticed a church up the street. He claimed all the hotties go to church now, and he should get it in with Mary Magdalene and her heavenly escorts while he was still young. He's obviously been talking with mother way too much. So he ran off inside the church, and about five minutes later, he comes back over to me and says that he's got a hot date with a nun. I told him it's probably the complete opposite of that. He might end up having a hot date with Satan. Then Gob says that's more like hanging out with mom. I was inclined to agree.

The night of the date, Gob drags me along so I could get a "hottie" too even though I told him I was completely fine with dating someone who was not into the religious scene. So much tension with all that. I rather not get involved... but anyway, we're at the church, and it's very dark, and there's lots of singing. It kind of freaked me out, and Gob was so scared he held onto me for dear life. It was a bonding moment we had. In a church. (Laughs) Religion.

We find where the singing is coming from, and many people dressed in robes are in a room with all these brightly lit candles.  They're all standing in a circle and the mood is so eerie, so still. I'm pretty sure Gob shit his pants right then and there. They all turn around and one of them asks, "What is that smell?" and they see Gob. One of the nuns---I'm guessing the "hottie" grabs Gob and pull him down on the floor, then she yells: "NOW!" Suddenly the priests began yelling things in foreign languages. Oh this one phrase stuck out to me, 'Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus!' That's when I knew they were trying to perform an exorcism. 

All in all, we got out of the church in good time with hardly any brusies or scars. Except for this one on Gob's eyebrow, but it'll heal. He claims a candle burned him, but I'm pretty sure that nun slapped him when he attempted to grab her behind in the process of the exorcism. 

Good times. Gob mistakes a date with a nun for an exorcism. Color me not surprised.